Technically, Thanksgiving is an annual national holiday celebrating the harvest and the past year. It’s loosely modeled on a 1621 feast shared by the English settlers in Plymouth, Massachusetts and the Wampanoag people, the local indigenous people. This holiday is often marked by travel; in fact, that week is one of the busiest travel times of the entire year, as we travel to spend the holiday with family and friends.
Although it is wonderful to spend time with family, assuming you are on good terms with your family members, for many of us, Thanksgiving marks the beginning of the food- and alcohol-fest that starts with Thanksgiving and doesn’t end until New Year’s Day at the earliest. The focal point of the holiday is dinner–a large ceremonial meal. For many of us, alcohol is a part of the celebration: a nice glass (or two) of wine with dinner, perhaps a cocktail before, and beer while you are watching football. If you are sober, especially if this is your first year of sobriety, it can feel a little strange to not have a drink in your hand. With a little thought and planning, however, you can have a festive and alcohol-free experience.
Put on Your Own Oxygen Mask First
As flight attendants say during the safety talk that they give before the plane takes off, if the cabin should lose pressure, you need to put your oxygen mask on before assisting others with theirs. What this means is, make sure that you are taking care of your needs before you start worrying about others’. It will be easier for you to stick to your recovery goals if you go into the holiday feeling well-rested. Make sure that you are eating healthy food, that you are getting enough sleep, that you are exercising, and that you are drinking enough water.
Bring a Festive Non-Alcoholic Beverage for Yourself or to Share
It’s a good idea to bring your favorite non-alcoholic beverage with you. People will be unlikely to ask you if you would like a drink if you already have a glass in your hand. Most hosts will have plenty of non-alcoholic beverages around, but bring your own just to be on the safe side. Most hosts would welcome a few more bottles of sparkling water, seltzer, or sparkling cider. If you are feeling adventurous, you could bring a holiday mocktail to share. If you decide to do that, check with the host first.
Coping With Family Reactions
Depending on your family and who all attends Thanksgiving, you may want to think about what you will say if someone notices that you aren’t drinking and says something about it. Depending on the person who asks, your relationship with them, and what else is happening at the time, you may want to say that you are taking a medication that doesn’t interact well with alcohol, that you have an early workout planned for the next morning or an early travel day, or that you have lost your taste for alcohol. If the person questioning you is someone you feel close to, you may want to tell them about your decision to stop drinking. Or you could simply tell people that you don’t drink anymore and change the subject.
If your family has been concerned about your drinking in the past, they may be very happy that you aren’t drinking and be completely supportive. On the other hand, they may not understand why you aren’t having “just one.” In the worst case, family members may not be supportive at all. One thing to keep in mind is that people who are negative about your decision to not drink may have guilt or concerns about their own drinking. If your family is in the latter two categories, be sure that you have people who you can call for support. If you are traveling out of town for Thanksgiving, you may want to attend a support meeting if there is one where you will be. You might even want to bring a sober friend with you to dinner.
Make Yourself the Designated Helper
If you are visibly busy helping, people aren’t apt to ask you if you would like a drink or why you aren’t drinking. You can stay in the kitchen and help with dinner preparations. You can help to set the table. If there are appetizers and cocktails before dinner, you can help with passing appetizers or making sure that platters are full. You can refill drinks for people and you can help take empty plates and glasses back to the kitchen. After dinner, you can help to clear the table and serve dessert. And there is always clean up–putting leftovers away, washing dishes, and returning the kitchen to normal. As the self-designated helper, you could be the hit of the holiday!
Thanksgiving can be stressful if you have recently chosen a sober lifestyle. However, with a little planning, you can enjoy the holiday, spend time with people you love, and maintain your sobriety.
Holidays and social events can be stressful, but in the recovery treatment program at Promising Outlook you will learn the life skills you need to manage social situations confidently as you embrace your sober lifestyle. Promising Outlook, located in Riverside, California, is an outpatient drug and alcohol treatment center. The center offers both one-on-one and group counseling. Through its comprehensive program based on the 12-Step philosophy, the staff at Promising Outlook treats the whole patient, not just the addiction. An individualized treatment plan is developed for each client, designed to address any underlying trauma or mental health issues that could be contributing to the addictive behavior. The clinical modalities offered by Promising Outlook include cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT), mindfulness-based stress reduction, motivational interviewing, psychotherapy, and anger management classes. If you are struggling with alcohol or drug abuse and are ready to commit to treatment, call (951) 783-2487.
